List of Reasons Why I'm Single / A Clearly Flawed Human

So I mean I take pride in being independent but I think we all do stupid stuff and say to our friends (or our friends say to us) "This is why I'm still single". So I've just made a little list of some of those reasons. Enjoy.

1. I meow when I'm bored(or make a variety of other noises). Yup I'm a little kitty cat as soon as the conversation gets too dull or we are driving in the car with complete silence. There was once a time when I was so over tired I refused to speak actual proper English to my friend, I only meowed at her. I also go "wee" when I'm driving and go around a corner. 
2. I eat a lot and I don't eat well. Oh your dates usually order salads? That's nice I want some pasta and 5,000 bread sticks. Also yes I want dessert don't even ask, also that dessert better be pie or cheesecake. 
3. I listen to a really weird variety of music. Mostly stuff like Mayday Parade (if you don't know that about me, then we aren't friends), Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Our Last Night, Real Friends, Go Radio, Mumford and Sons, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens, Twenty One Pilots, Ed Sheeran, Coldplay, Jimmy Eat World, Blink 182, etc. That list can go on and on. Basically if you see them on warped tour, I probably listen to them. I can listen to some pretty hardcorish stuff sometimes but then there is other times that I'm just like, it's a full on Micheal Buble day today. Let's all serenade each other with Josh Groban songs. Time to sing along to the soundtrack of Rent or Les Miserables. Micheal and Josh tend to be around Christmas time or if I'm missing Christmas. But still, it's hard to keep up. 
4. I am incredibly awkward. There are several instances to prove this fact. For instance some old man once pressed the wrong button for me in the elevator. He pressed two when really I needed three so instead of just saying something or not getting off at the second floor, I got off at the second floor, walked around the second floor a bit so that I would not run into the man when I actually got to floor three. Yup, that's my life. 
5. I drink a lot of coffee. This might sound normal for a college student, but I mean I drink a lot of coffee. I make a half a pot in the morning, get at least two cups at the cafe on campus a day, then make a half a pot again midday. I did a speech once on why you should drink coffee and got an A so I'm pretty sure it's not bad for me. But why is this such a bad quality? One it means that I constantly want coffee and if I do not get it I will throw a fit. Two it makes me very energetic. And Three, it makes me have to pee all the time. Oh you wanted to go on a little road trip somewhere an hour away? We will probably have to stop three times for me to pee.  
6. I make sarcastic comments for everything. I'm one of those people who has a comment for everything and it's rarely, if ever, a nice one. Insults are my thing so if you are sensitive don't even bother trying to make conversation with me. 
7. I don't always have common courtesy. I don't hold doors open for people or say their shirt is nice to be polite. I got places to go and people to see. I often times don't mean to be rude, but odds are I come off as being so. There have been many times when my friends have had to tell me what the nice thing to do is. But I mean I'm still pretty nice...I think.
8. I don't dress up all nice. My favorite outfit is my high tops or combat boots with one of my band t-shirts or a long sleeve sweater that also usually has some sort of music or movie/TV reference. I have some nice shirts, but I rarely wear them. I do wear skirts or dresses every now and then, but it's usually paired with black leggings, black combat boots, and a leather jacket. You'll also never catch me wearing a decorative scarf. 
9. I'm flighty and have major commitment issues. Can't tie me down. I will jump from place to place and run away from my problems and pretend they don't exists. I am never happy where I am at and I will always want to go somewhere else. I change my mind about things more times than you blink a day. I can't stick to anything and I never want to stick to anything. I don't only change my mind, I change it with passion and give my all into my new idea. But they never stick (just like this blog most likely wont, let's be honest). Like how are you people getting married? I can't commit to a school or a major, how on Earth are you committing to a person?
10. I don't like going out all that much. Large groups of sweaty people that probably have a low IQ or at least act like it when they are drunk? Count me out. You can find me in my own room watching a movie and making a painting or drawing sipping hot coco. Or going out to a movie or a concert with friends (I know concerts have a lot of sweaty people touching you too, but at least it's worth it). I would never want to date someone I met while either he or me or both were intoxicated. What kind of story is that? I've seen drunk people, loads of times. Sorry honey I like to keep my wits about me. If he's not cool with a night in watching movies and cuddling with some hot coco or listening to music for hours straight, he's not worth my time. 
11. I'm not good at dealing with emotions. I suck at being serious. If someone needs comforting I usually offer jokes and comments. If someone is sad I don't know what to do. I see someone cry and I panic because I don't know how to comfort them. I also don't like it when people come to me with relationship issues. Like seriously? Do I look like I can help you with that? When is the last time you saw me in a committed relationship? Yes, let me give you advice on what to do with your relationship issues. Um no, go find someone else. The most I know about good relationships I've learned from Marshall and Lily. 
12. I can't make decisions for anything. This goes back to my commitment issues. But I can't make decisions for anything. Do I really want ice cream? Better spend twenty minutes deciding.Then another twenty if I decide yes because then I have to pick a flavor. I contemplate everything, literally everything. I have to weigh all possible outcomes of all possible choices before I decide and it can take me forever. So if I can't pick an ice cream flavor, how am I supposed to pick a man? There's like so many more of those things walking around. 
13. I have high expectations. If you aren't going to be outside my window singing Goodnight Moon by Go Radio then don't bother. Also if you don't listen to or sing First Date by Blink 182, or at least think of the song, than I don't want to date you. You clearly aren't pumped enough for our first date. 
14. I have an addictive personality. Had a cup of coffee once, have five thousand daily. Watched a good movie/TV show once, must watch it all the time and buy all the things related to it and pin everything I see that deals with it. Oh I like pie? Freaking love pie must eat it all the time. Christmas? It's not even the end of October and I have listened to the Micheal Buble Christmas album and thought about how I'm gonna decorate. Peppermint everything, eggnog everything. I can't have anything in small quantities. I either hate it or really really love it. 
15. I don't care about what people think. This could be good or bad. I will act weird in public with friends without a second thought. I will talk too loudly and not care who hears me. I walk around and look people in the eye instead of staring at my tiny little feet. I will try to make jokes to get people to smile or break the silence. I will almost always try to break the silence. I don't care if you don't like me. The only person that affects is you and that just sucks for you because I'm awesome. 
16. I want a kitten. I swear 90% of guys (not a proven statistic) hate cats with a passion. But you know what, when I get my own place I am going to get myself a little kitten and there is not a single person who can talk me out of it. I want a puppy too, which dudes are always pretty cool with, but as soon as kitten comes out there like "no way, cats are evil and they aren't even cute". You are a little liar. Don't tell me that your heart doesn't melt a little when you see those little kittens on pintrest wearing Santa hats or something. Don't even lie, it's adorable. 
17. I put my career before men. Sure I don't have an actual career or a career path, but I always put any work I have to do before a social life. School work is more important to me than going out or hanging with friends. 
18. I suck at flirting and picking up on cues. Unless a guy just outright says "I want to date you" I will have literally zero idea as to whether or not a guy likes me. He has to tell it to me straight up and to the point or I will never know. I'm also not good at flirting. It's a lost art on this girl. You can throw hints at me all you want but most of the time I will answer your little comments and not know what was going on until a friend later says something like "that guy was totally hitting on you". Woops. Whatever must not have been my soul mate, didn't see him playing my favorite song out my window. 
19. I'm not graceful. Ever since childhood, I can fall on flat surfaces. Constant bad things just happen upon me. I will also sometimes randomly just let go of an object I'm holding and it will fall out of my hands. Just yeah, I don't know. 
20. I would make the worst housewife. Literally the worst. I can't cook for crap, I hate cleaning and I'm so unorganized, and I never know how to work a washer and dryer (not my fault, every single one is different I swear). My room is always cluttered and I don't really care all that much to clean it up until it starts to tick me off. I don't organize anything and generally get mad at myself for this, but still never do anything about it. I mean I would love to learn to cook, but I mean he would have to deal with eating crappy experiment food for like five years. 

So there we have it, 20 reasons as to why I am pretty much always single and just some random unappealing crap about me. Hope you at least found my sorrows entertaining. 

Laugh on Angels and stay classy.